The Dating Game

So here I am, single and free and back on the market. It is the strangest, most surreal feeling. Almost like it can't actually be true. While I was still married there were a couple of guys in the branch up here who asked me out a few times. On top of the fact that they are both repulsive to me, I was outraged that they would ask me out when they knew that I was still married. I was very mean to them when I refused their advances, just to make sure there was no confusion and no chance that they would try again. It worked. They are both married to other women now, much to my delight.

My co-workers keep trying to encourage me to try the online dating circuit. My aunt Sue did that for many years, and her stories haunt me to this day! I know that there are some genuinely good people who go that route, but I can't help but feel that they are few and far between while the freaks abound.

As I sit pondering the act of dating, I can't help but think of the worst dates I've ever had. The worst date I ever went on was right after my mission. Before moving out to UT, the Stake President here asked me to speak and sing at 2 different stake conferences. I got to know the Stake Secretary a little bit during this time, and he asked me to look up his son when I got to Provo and go out with him. I said I would, but just to ensure that I would keep my word he gave his son my phone number and told him to call me if I didn't get in touch with him. Once I was settled in Provo he called me up and asked me out. I knew the minute I saw him walk up the drive that it was a mistake! First of all, he was very very skinny. I've always preferred guys with a solid build. I don't want a man who wears a smaller size than me. He definitely wore a smaller size than me, and at that time I wore a size 4! He was very awkward, and I tried to be funny and put him at ease. He had planned some kind of surprise date, which turned out to be a picnic out in Provo Canyon. As we drove the windy roads he started to talk about murder. Yes, you heard me right. Murder. He continued on and on about how if you were going to kill someone, Provo Canyon would be the perfect place to dump the body. As he spoke he had this creepy smile on his face that had me wondering if I would be his first victim! I nonchalantly put my hand on the door handle, and in my mind I'm thinking "look for a soft place to land when you jump out!" My fight or flight instincts were kicking in, but I ended up doing neither. While I had no appetite after his terrifying rant, we ate our sandwiches at a picnic table along the way, then he took me home. He asked if he could call me again, I said sure, then never answered his calls again.

The next story isn't about a particular date, but about a particular guy that I dated in UT, again right after my mission. His name was Johny. He came through my line at the Home Depot where I worked in Lindon, UT, and asked me out. Physically he was my version of Prince Charming. The perfect man as far as I was concerned. Very tall, solid build, a real man's man who would rather build something with his hands than play tennis or golf. Our first date was wonderful. He took me to an Italian restaurant, then we went to his sister's house and watched a movie with her and her husband. We went out a few more times, I met his parents, saw the house he built for them, and liked him more and more. He was an accomplished artist, and worked in graphics for a video game company. He was 10 years older than me, and I think that had something to do with his appeal. Anyway, he called me one night to talk about when I was free to go out that week. I said that I could go out Wednesday night, and without missing a beat he said "I can never go out on Wednesday nights. I have a commitment on Wednesday nights." He didn't offer up any additional information, so I didn't press. We decided on another night, then hung up. He called me again an hour later and told me that he couldn't see me anymore. He said that he liked me so much, but circumstances were such that he couldn't date me then. He said that he wanted to call me when things were better, and asked if that would be okay. I said yes, then we said goodbye. I wasn't as heartbroken as I thought I would be. I never heard from him again. A year later I was having dinner with a former roommate and her husband Nathan. Somehow I ended up telling them about Johny. As I spoke Nathan looked at Becky with a confused look on his face. Then he gasped and said "Oh my gosh, you are the Aramie that Johny used to tell me about!" Turns out that Nathan and Johny worked together at the video game place. About the time Johnny broke up with me he was sent up the river to serve time in the pen for some very bad things. I was dumbfounded! He and Nathan were still in touch via letters! A couple of weeks later Nathan told me that he had written to Johnny about me. Johnny wanted to know if I would write to him while he did his time in the state penitentiary! What?!? Nooooooooooo, Johnny. I will not write to you while you are in the clink.

Oh dating. So much to look forward to!