Dearest Michael,
I have loved you since I was 11 years old when my mom and I would drive to San Diego listening to her Soul Provider cassette tape. For 22 years I have dreamed of the moment when we would meet in person and you would tell me how I have been your muse; the inspiration behind the saxophone solos and passion-filled ballads. You cannot imagine my bliss when I read that you were going to do a show in San Antonio this upcoming Monday! I begged my husband to buy me a ticket so that I could make both of our dreams come true. He laughed, shook his head incredulously and logged on to Ticketmaster.com. I blew it off. He doesn't understand our cosmic connection to one another. Once my ticket was bought & paid for I patiently waited for the day of the show to come. Now imagine my sense of betrayal upon learning that the concert has been cancelled because I was the only one who bought a ticket to see you. I used to think that I was all you needed, but now I see that the almighty dollar reigns supreme in your life. It's over, Michael. How can we be lovers if we can't be friends, you ask? I'm sorry Michael, but my reply must be this; I said I love you... but I lied.
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3 comments:
oh my gosh! that made me laugh so hard. at first, i couldn't believe that you remembered those lyrics. but, then i realized that if you actually bought a ticket to a Micheal Bolton concert and then openly admitted it, of course you remember the lines to all of his songs. i am sorry for the crushing of your dream, but at least now you can say, "No, I've never been to a Micheal Bolton concert. how are you supposed to live without him, now that you've been loving him so long? that, my sister, is a question that can only be answered by time (love, and tenderness, of course).
How can this post only have one comment?! That was hilarious!
By the way, I'm Sarah's sister, so I'm not totally a creepy bloghopper stalker.
I LOVE the way you put things into words, Aramie! I laughed so hard!
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